The Year Without Him
by PrincessMidna90
Summary: A follow up to my one-shot 'Klaine - I Tried  But I Wasn't Strong Enough '  Through this story, we'll follow Kurt through his year without Blaine
1. The Day it Happened

**Mercedes' POV**

Mercedes Jones sat in her car, driving over to Kurt and Blaine's, where she was meeting with Rachel to help plan the wedding. Her boo was _finally_ allowed to marry the man he loved, the only one he had ever love, and the only one he would ever love. Smiling, she sang along to one of her favorite songs; **Bridge Over Troubled Water**. Little did she know how fitting that song would be in just a few moments. She rounded the last corner to the street of Kurt's house, and saw a police car outside. Instantly worried, she turned off the radio, slowing down as she reached Kurt and Blaine's house. Then she saw Kurt in the doorway; he looked shocked and empty, she could see as much even being twenty meters away from him. Getting out of her car, she called his name as she approached him.  
>However, she got no reaction. Calling his name again, she started walking faster, fear seeping in as she got a closer look. Still there was no answer from the young man.<br>She sank down to the ground in front of him, waving a hand in front of those blue, empty, non-seeing eyes.  
>Then she saw the police-officer who had been sitting in the car approaching, and felt a hand on her shoulder.<br>"What happened? Why is he like this?"  
>"Are you a friend of his?"<br>"He's been my best friend since High School, and Blaine for almost as long. Why isn't Blaine here?"  
>"I'm sorry ma'm, but..."<br>"He's gone," Kurt's gruff voice said, barely audible.  
>"GONE? What do you mean boo, gone?" Mercedes refused to believe what she was hearing.<br>"I mean he's **GONE** Mercedes!" Kurt yelled, tears now streaking down his face, sobs wrecking his body.  
>"He's.. he's gone. He promised... He promised me he'd never leave me... And now he's gone"<br>"He passed in a car-accident this morning ma'm. It was a hit-and-run. As I explained to Mr. Hummel here, there was nothing the medics could do."  
>Mercedes Jones was at a loss of words.<p>

**Rachel's POV**

At the same time, Rachel Hudson-Berry came driving from the opposite direction, she too singing along to a favorite of hers; **Need You Now**. Smiling, she recalled singing this as a duet with Puck in High School, attempting to make Finn jealous. It had worked, he'd told her on a later occasion. Shaking her head with a laugh, she thought about her husband. He loved her enough to go with her when she moved to New York to attend college with Kurt and Blaine. She recalled the moment of pure bliss when they announced gay marriage legal in New York, how the tears streaked down the faces of her fathers, and later on the look of happiness on Kurt and Blaine's.  
>Now she was on to their house to help plan their wedding, or rather, she and Mercedes wasn't exactly needed for the planning, as much as they were there to make sure Kurt wouldn't go overboard, like he tried to in the wedding of Burt and Carole. <em>Feeding the poor pigeons with glitter...<em> She was glad he was stopped before going through with that idea... In Finn's and hers wedding, she of course had the upper hand. Meaning that, even though she hated to admit it, she herself had almost gone too overboard, too influenced by Broadway, and luckily Mercedes and Kurt had stopped her from using more money than she should.  
>And then she rounded the corner. Seeing the police car, Mercedes kneeling down besides Kurt, who was still in the doorway, she was filled with dread. <em>'Something awful has happened'<em>, she instantly though. Parking next to the police car, she ran out of her own car, not even bothering closing the door or locking the car.  
>"Kurt! Mercedes! What happened?"<br>Mercedes turned to look at her, and then she saw the emptiness in Kurt's eyes, the way he shook and the shock and sadness written all over Mercedes' face. Rachel gasped, holding a hand over her mouth. Now she wasn't sure she wanted to know anyways.  
>"Rachel... Blaine, he's..." Mercedes started, and had to take a deep, shuddering breath before continuing "dead".<br>The diva turned back to her best friend, as Rachel sank to the ground, her arms wrapped around herself.

**Kurt's POV**

Kurt didn't hear Mercedes call his name. He didn't see her hand waving in front of his face. But when he picked out Blaine's name, he came to, if only just a little; just enough to manage to tell Mercedes that his life was gone. Then the tears fell, and sobs took over his body.  
>He didn't feel Mercedes' arms wrap around him.<br>Kurt didn't hear Rachel calling his name, as well as Mercedes'. He picked out Blaine's name, spoken from the lips of his best friend.  
>Kurt didn't notice anything that day. The people hugging him, crying, trying to offer some small measure of love and comfort onto him and each other was just a blur, it didn't feel real. He was even in that much of a shock that he couldn't get himself to demand to see his body. In a way, he thought to himself that this wasn't true, it was all a nightmare. As long as he didn't see the body, it wasn't true, it wasn't real.<p> 


	2. The First Day

The First Day

_**Kurt's POV**_

Kurt awoke to their bed filled with some of the people from Glee. Mercedes and Rachel on either side of him, Santana with her arms wrapped around Brittany in the foot-end of the bed, Puck besides Lauren on the floor on one side, with Finn alone on the other side.  
>He got up slowly, so he wouldn't wake the others, and made his way to the bathroom. Finishing up, he walked into the living roomkitchen. On the couches were Burt, Carole and Artie. He looked in the door to the guestroom, where he found Quinn, Sam, Mike and Tina.  
>Smiling at the sight of all his closest friends and family, he went to the kitchen again, trying to figure out what to serve them all.<br>Looking in the closet, he found out they were out of coffee, silently chastising Blaine for forgetting to by more the day before, smiling as he shook his head.

And then the events of the last day came rushing back to him.  
>He screamed.<p>

_**Burt's POV**_

He woke to the high-pitched, horrified, agonized scream of his son. Feeling disoriented for only a moment, he was quick to leap to his feet, storming over to his son, holding him tight. Carole was just a moment after, holding them both, tears streaming down her face.  
>The others had heard him too, and came storming in, everyone but Finn stopping as they saw the utterly heart wrenching scene in front of them, their friend surrounded by his parents and brother.<br>They all turned to each other, holding one another tight, fresh tears streaming down their faces, still salty from the tears of the day before.  
>Burt's heart ached for his son, and he knew his pain all too well; his own wife had died in the same way. For his son to lose his husband-to-be in the exact same way was too much. What had he ever done to deserve it?<br>Taking a deep, shuddering breath, he turned his face upwards. The ghost of a smile graced his lips as he envisioned Kurt's mother and Blaine meeting for the first time, the former welcoming the latter in a hug of comfort.  
>"He's safe", Burt whispered.<p>

_**Finn's POV**_

Finn had also woken to his brother's scream. Jumping up from the floor, he ran into the kitchen/living room and didn't hesitate in joining his family on the floor, holding the other three in his arms.  
>Years back, he had won a brother in Kurt, and then in Blaine as well. Just a few more days and Finn would've started calling Blaine his brother. He was looking forward to that day. However, it did not happen.<br>Finn's heart ached for his brother.

_**Carol**__**e's POV**_

Carole knew how painful it was, just as much as her husband did. Her first husband, Finn's father, died when Finn was young, whilst serving in the Middle East. That pain was also one of the many reasons as to why she and Burt connected so well; they had both lost their spouses to accidents, both when their children were young as well.  
>She would never want this pain on her worst enemy, and now that it happened to her second son, she was at a loss. Knowing she couldn't do or say anything to make it better or easier was not easy. She could only hope Kurt would be healed by time, just as she and Burt was.<p>

_**Rachel's POV**_

She watched her husband, brother-in-law and parents-in-law as they sat together in a heap on the floor. She felt so helpless.  
>Deciding to give them some privacy, she quietly ushered everyone into the backyard, where the couples sat down; holding each other.<br>She couldn't sit still, she needed to do something. In true Rachel-fashion, she wanted to sing something; but what?  
>Was there a song fitting for this?<br>She looked at Mercedes, and through the tears, she could see the other diva was thinking along her lines.  
>Inclining her head slightly, she hinted at Mercedes to come with her from the rest of the group.<p>

_**Mercedes' POV**_

She was devastated, there was no other way to describe how she felt losing Blaine. If she felt like that, how then was it for Kurt? Mercedes was "just" best friends with Blaine, but how Kurt must feel was an entirely different thing. Her poor boo.  
>Her heart shattered completely upon seeing Kurt and his family on the floor, tears staining all of their faces once more.<br>She thought it a good idea that Rachel got them into the backyard, to give the family the quiet they needed. She also thought that singing to Kurt, to show him they would be there for him, no matter what, was a good idea. She hoped he knew they would either way, but it wouldn't hurt to reaffirm that message.  
>"What do you think we should sing for him?"<br>"I'm not sure Mercedes. Do you have any ideas?"  
>"Well, I heard Bridge Over Troubled Water in the car on the way over yesterday, before I knew of this… But I sang it to him when his father was in coma, so I'm not really sure…"<br>"How about…" Rachel did a quick thinking of the songs she knew of, "You Are Loved?"  
>"You mean the one by Josh Groban?"<br>"Yes, that one"  
>"Okay. But who should sing it?"<br>"I think… Sam and Artie. At least as far as vocal range go."  
>"Then let's do this, for Kurt"<br>Mercedes went over to Sam as Rachel went to Artie, asking them to sing it. Unsurprisingly, they too found it to be a good idea.

_**Kurt's POV**_

Kurt didn't register much. He only knew that Blaine was gone, and that he was surrounded by his parents and brother.  
>"Uhm, Kurt?" he heard Mercedes say softly, not wanting to disturb them. He looked up, and saw them all stand there, barely inside the door. He couldn't manage to say something, so instead he slightly inclined his head, to show he was listening.<br>"We would like to sing something to you," Rachel continued, in a soft voice.  
>Looking to Sam and Artie, they began singing; Sam starting.<p>

_Don't give up  
>It's just the weight of the world<br>When your heart's heavy  
>I...I will lift it for you<em>

Artie took over, he and Sam singing ever second verse, with the others joining them at the refrain__

_Don't give up  
>Because you want to be heard<br>If silence keeps you  
>I...I will break it for you<em>

_Everybody wants to be understood  
>Well I can hear you<br>Everybody wants to be loved  
>Don't give up<br>Because you are loved_

_Don't give up  
>It's just the hurt that you hide<br>When you're lost inside  
>I...I will be there to find you<em>

_Don't give up  
>Because you want to burn bright<br>If darkness blinds you  
>I...I will shine to guide you<em>

_Everybody wants to be understood  
>Well I can hear you<br>Everybody wants to be loved  
>Don't give up<br>Because you are loved_

_You are loved  
>Don't give up<br>It's just the weight of the world  
>Don't give up<br>Every one needs to be heard  
>You are loved<em>

The song ended, and Kurt didn't know how to feel. Grateful was the only thing he was certain off. He could see how moved they all were by the song and its powerful meaning. And he knew that now, more than ever, that he had their support.  
>But would it be enough?<br>"Thank you," he whispered.


	3. The First Week

OMG IT'S BEEN AGES SINCE I LAST POSTED ANYTHING FOR THSI STORY!  
>(I checked when I uploaded the last chap, and it was September 2nd...)<br>I've meaning to continue for so long, but lacked inspiration.  
>When I tried, it wouldn't work, and then other fandoms took over my inspiration to write (Assassin's Creed and BBC's version of Sherlock)<p>

But anyways, this is the 3rd chapter of the Year Without Him, a story which started almost a year ago with a one-shot taking place a year after Blaine's death due to a hit-and-run (counting that one-shot it would make this the 4th chapter, but the one-shot is actually the END of the story)  
>And now I'm rambling again, I'm sorry<p>

Next up will be the funeral, and from there on this will take place over the upcoming six months during one chapter, or else I will never be able to finish it ^^"

As always, I own nothing, everything belongs ot theur owners, etc, etc, so on and so forth, blah, blah, blah

_**The First Week**_

The first week went by in the same matter. Kurt's parents and the old Glee club stayed over, only leaving in pairs the first day to get things they needed to sleep over, and Finn and Rachel and Mike and Tina brought their mattresses and brought them to the living room so everyone had a place to sleep.  
>Carol and Mercedes called around to cancel every appointment concerning the wedding, and Carol started preparing for the funeral. She wasn't happy to do it, but she needed something to do, so she wouldn't succumb to the grief; just like when her husband had died. Back then, she had to take care of Finn too, so it didn't leave her with much spare-time anyways.<p>

All the girls and guys took their turn calling those invited to the wedding, and Burt and Carol called the family. But no matter who was calling, Kurt was always surrounded by at least six of his friends and family.  
>Kurt was sitting on the middle of the couch in the livingroom, legs drawn up with his knees under his chin, arms wrapped around them.<br>He knew nothing of what was going on around him. He was just sitting there, seeing nothing, hearing nothing and feeling nothing apart from a great loss. It felt like all his insides were gone and where his heart once was, there was no only a big, black hole, slowly consuming him from the inside.

There was no point in trying to get him to eat, not even drink. He just sat there, looking like a wax-figure, not even tears in his eyes; just loss and emptiness. There were dark circles under his eyes which would never go away; he would be hunted by nightmares in the 364 days and nights to come.

The week went by in much the same manner; Kurt would wake in the night, screaming out in terror and loss and would be held by the various members of the club and his family as he shook with the sobs that were wrecking him.  
>They had managed to give him some food, but so very little compared to what he should have eaten. They hid the alcohol in the house, just to make sure he wouldn't take to drinking and they hid the painkillers as well.<br>They briefly thought about giving him sleeping pills, as he only got so very few hours of sleep at night, but quickly decided against it; they would only condemn him to being trapped in hours-long night-terrors that wouldn't end until the pills wore off.

Kurt had never been a drinker; maybe a glass of wine on special occasions, but who knows what would happen if he got desperate. Then again, at least he'd do something if that was the case.  
>They all feared for him.<br>His skin was an unhealthy pallor, no longer the soft skin he used to have when he stuck to his moisturizing routine. It made it look like his skin stuck to his skull, like there was nothing between.  
>The bags under his eyes got deeper and darker each passing day.<br>During his waking hours, he just sat there.

Towards the end of the week, they all discussed how they would do it from then on; they all had work to go to and not everyone could take more time off from work.  
>It was easiest for Burt, because he could just leave the garage to his employees, and Carol had a part-time job, and had the two upcoming weeks of.<br>Rachel could not take time off, because she was slowly but surely making her name at Broadway and Finn had very important football practices which he couldn't get away from.

But even so, they managed to set up a schedule for when they could be there for him.  
>They made a list with contact information for home and work as well as dates when they could be there and when they might get off work to be there.<br>The first week would be their test-run, and two days later Burt, Carol, Quinn and Puck were there, whilst the other had left to go home again.

In the beginning they had spoken in hushed tones, but they soon discovered that Kurt could or would not hear them, not even if they mentioned Blaine's name.  
>But they were still careful as to what they spoke of, just in case.<p>

Day after day, Kurt just sat there, staring into nothingness.  
>At the end of the week, Quinn and Carole drove to the nearest hospital to talk to a doctor, for they could not get Kurt to come with them.<br>Both women broke down not long after they had left the house; the strain of trying to keep it together for Kurt's sake becoming too heavy a burden.  
>Carole pulled over to the side, and they held each other tight whilst Ben Rector's When a Heart Breaks played softly on the radio in the background.<p>

They reached the hospital, and soon talked to a doctor about Kurt.  
>She said she was unsure of what they could to at the moment, apart from being with him and trying to make sure he got some nutrition in him; no matter what it was, as long as it was in small doses and not too heavy.<br>If it continued after the funeral, they would have to come back with Kurt.  
>She also prescribed sleeping-pills for him, so they could have it at hand in case he would need them, just as long as they kept him away from them, so he would not do something unwise.<p>

A friend of Kurt's named Daniel worked at the local funeral office, and he stopped by later that day to see if he could help out.  
>That actually roused Kurt enough to be able to order a headstone, a coffin and an urn, and to tell the others that he wanted Blaine in a coffin for the ceremony, but that he – it – was to be taken to be cremated afterwards.<br>He locked himself away again as soon as he'd managed to croak out his wishes; his voice rough from not having been used for anything else that screaming and some mumbling when he was having nightmares for almost a week.

The funeral was to be held three days later, and since Kurt knew Daniel, he would make sure the items were ready on time, and that the headstone would be delivered at his door as soon as it was done.

The day before the funeral, Kurt got out of the house unseen with the small, natural-looking headstone, which he had ordered to look like it belonged in the nature, and would therefor fit perfectly in their clearing.  
>It was also not too heavy, so Kurt eventually managed to bring it to the clearing, along with a shovel, which he would leave for when he would return with the urn.<br>He had left a note back at the house, saying he had headed out for a walk, which wasn't exactly a lie.

Reaching the clearing, he decided after looking around to place the stone by the fallen tree, so he would be able to sit there and talk to Blaine whenever he needed.  
>If he survived the trials and emptiness ahead.<p> 


End file.
